“If you could be anywhere that you wanted to be,
With anyone that you wanted to be with,
Do anything that you wanted to do,
What would it be and who would it be with you?”
i’m sitting here listening to this love by the script and i don’t know why i turn on songs like these so late when i know they’re going to make my mind race and my boyfriend will be working and my best friend will be doing things so i’ll be left along with my blog to talk about how my mind’s racing once again.
i like to tell myself i’m completely content with the path i’ve chosen to take and if i had to choose again i would not have chosen differently. i’m going to a GREAT college. i’m going to have a life-changing career. i have it all figured out for myself and nothing can change that. but i’m old enough and smart enough to know that it can all change in an instant. what the fuck happens if some life altering, catastrophic event comes my way and shatters the only dreams i have for myself? then what? i’m screwed, right? it took me 17 long years to even figure out what i’m MEANT to do with my life.
anyways, to answer all these questions the script poses in their lyrics: i want to be five years in the future. i want to be graduated from college where my dreams have been achieved and i no longer need to worry about the things that can harm them. as to who i want there-without a doubt, my family. they’ve gotten me to this point and i wouldn’t rather the three of them, especially my younger brother, see me succeed. who else? alex. honestly, he may be the only person i have ever let inside of my walls completely. he’s that person; the one that can predict my next move even when i don’t know it. it’s almost scary how he knows me so much better than i know myself. without him, my success would mean little to nothing because he is what ultimately makes me happiest. i pray to god it stays that way and he is who i get to go home to every night. finally, ashley. our friendship has endured the hardships of high school and has kept me sane throughout the past three years. she keeps me level-headed and is never afraid to tell me when i’m wrong or to argue with me. i need someone who isn’t afraid to tell me to shut the fuck up or to hit me with a reality check when i desperately need it. we’re such different people with such a strong bond that i have yet to see break.
with graduation coming up and my whole life changing i guess it’s normal for me to think all of these things. i know i’m going to lose all of the relationships i’ve held onto for so long and i’ve worked harder than i should have most times to maintain them. but i am ready; ready to become someone.
